Compare DVD : Little Black Book

Rating: - Seduction into paranoia, anyone?
I went to see this with my best friend Karen, usually an eternally smiling sunshiny person with a much bigger heart than brain, but she totally wasn't smiling after this. She was just disoriented and groping her chest and saying it was raining, even though the sky was perfectly clear and blue! But to be sure, this movie could make any blue sky seem a dingy grey. It must be always a totally bad sign when a movie's most likeable character is a reeking flatulant dog. They could have totally have made what little of this is worth watching a thousand times better by making it a talking dog like Scooby-Doo, but no one behind this yuckfest was clever enough to think of that, I'm sure. There's a talk show host in this named Kippie,played by Kathy Bates. Kippie fancies herself a great boon to all humankind in her show "Kippie Can Do". But in fact she is totally a self-absorbed insolent brat who would make Jenny Jones or Sally Jessy Rafael look like Mother Teresa by comparison! And as if that weren't enough, Kathy Bates isn't the only overrated Oscar-winning has-been to muck uo this excursion into nausea. Kippie has a chief underling played by Holly Hunter, who is SO overdue to admit to having found no holly and retire. The only halfway likeable person working for the "Kippie Can Do" show is Stacy (thought she's often called something else) played by Brittany Murphy. Yes, she injects a tad of likeability into this film, but sadly her co-workers are determined to jerk her down to their level. They plant seeds of doubt in Stacy's mind as to the faithfulness of her boyfriend. Oh yes, her boyfriend is the one who has, or at least has joint custody of the fa#ting pooch. They encourage Stacy to interview previous girlfriends of her boyfriend under the pretnese that it is for the show (or is it really?). Stacy gets into totally awkward situations, as one ex-girlfriend almost introduces Stacy to a "good friend" who is actually Stacy's boyfriend. And Stacy poses as a patient to one of her boyfriend's ex-girlfriends, who is a gynecologist who has been misrepresented as a podiatrist. Just how a gynecologist gets misrepresented as a podiatrist is either something unexplained or something I missed (and I'm totally not going to to see the movie again to find out which!) When Stacy goes to this doctor, totally expecting to get her feet examined for warts, she gets a so totally unexpected examination instead. The climax of the movie turns out to be an episode of the talk show where Stacy and four of her boyfriend's ex-girlfriends are brought onto the stage together, so totally unaware of this five-way meeting planned for them, to encounter each other in a huge shockfest. The movie must be totally aimed at convincing even the most romantic among us that love totally stinks. Shame on Kippie and her co-creeps for inflicting this muckfest on five unsuspecting cast members and a movie audience. You should be so totally glad I warned you. To think how this is two hours of my life that I totally can't get back! I could have so better spent the time hanging out at the nearby bookstore! What's the worst that could happen there? I could get layed up in the little girls' room the whole time with my friend Karen perhaps totally laughing at me. But compared to getting stuck watching LITTLE BLACK BOOK, mere diarrhea would be SO totally fetch!